The last few months have been a testing period for me in the way I respond and react to lots of the issues here. Many times the corruption of government officials, scandals and lies of many people in the community, and the conman using the church to make money, has taken its toll on me.
I can find myself getting very impatient and even bitter towards many of these issues, and also towards individual people.
I constantly have to remind myself of Grace. That I am a recipient of Grace, and therefore I have an obligation to also extend it.
It can get hard, when you are surrounded by greed and corruption. Of course you can begin to be blinded by these situations, and you start zoning in and focusing only on those negative things in the culture. And then you can tend to overlook all the beautiful, God given aspects of the culture that are here.
The last thing I want to do is become a bitter old missionary, who is distrusting of the local people here. I would rather be someone full of love, joy and grace. Giving others the benefit of the doubt.
The great thing though is that there are many very helpful people here. God has given me some very trustworthy, and fantastic friends, and people here who help me see through a lot of the other junk.
Agnes and I have had to deal with a lot of government officials recently in trying to apply for her passport. It can become frustrating because many people here, who have the slightest bit of power, seem to like to use that power in a way that bullies you and treats you as beneath them.
Many people in Uganda just accept this "Big Chief" mentality, and remain quiet and allow people in authority to say and do what they want. But perhaps it is my Australian culture of "giving all a fair chance", or that old rebellious spirit inside my that used to speak back to teachers and police men (and I am certainly not saying that is a good thing) or perhaps its just down right ugly pride in my heart, where I feel like I shouldn't be treated badly and have a right to stand up and bite back.
The problem with getting a passport, is it means you have to go through many different officials before applying with immigration. Many of these officials want a bribe, just to give their signature (something that is supposed to be included in their job anyway)
We also had some trouble with the DISO, who basically deals with checking up criminal records etc. All we needed was his signature, but I swear we went to Jinja about 4 times just to try and get him. He was rather out of the office, or they were not happy with a tiny detail with our documents (including that our file had a little tear in it, and was not good enough for application)
We suspected they were being tough like this because they wanted a bribe, but we wouldn't budge.
At one point we went in the morning, and the secretary said he was in a meeting, but we should come back in the afternoon for the signature and it would be no problem. Agnes had to work that afternoon, but they said it was fine for myself to just come in, seeing as I am her husband, and that it wouldn't be an issue.
So in the afternoon, I went to town, in the pouring rain, entered the office, only to find a different secretary.
This secretary told me, with no sympathy, that they were refusing to give me the signature because I should of come with Agnes.
I got a little bit upset about this, and mentioned my frustration at the disorganization and lying from the staff there. Of course, that didn't help in anyway.
All the frustration kind of came to a peak at that point, as I expressed my 'disappointment' to the secretary. I really shouldn't of gotten upset, it was the wrong thing to do. And many times these people love to assert authority over you, and if you stick up for yourself and have a go at them, it doesn't help in anyway.
It also didn't help that on the bus ride home, I had a crazy guy hitting the back of me and making jokes about white people, while the rest of the bus was laughing at me.
I had a bit of anger in me that day! And I wasn't happy with my reactions to people. The last thing I want to be known for is someone with a hot temper, but it all kind of came to a boiling point.
Lucky for me right now my marriage is a bit of a resting, and safe place. Agnes keeps me calm and always helps to put things in perspective.
Often we feel like we should stand up for ourselves and bite back when people treat us badly. But I have to look at Jesus and the way he responded to people who mocked him, and even tortured him.
He didn't feel the need to fight back, He knew justice would come. I think that helps put things in perspective, that God is a God of grace and justice. That because we need grace, it empowers us to have grace towards others. And because in the end, justice for what needs to be rectified, will be put in place.
It leaves us, as followers of Jesus, to be able to extend grace, and not feel we need to throw justice onto others who hurt us.
So the next day I went with Agnes to give it another go. Luckily Agnes always keeps me calm in these situations. I was much quieter and gentle this time, even though people in the office were taunting me and asking me "why I wasn't getting upset like yesterday, and have I been put in my place?" I didn't bite back, remained calm and just smiled at people.
Eventually we got the signature. But not before the DISO looked at Agnes and I, and shouted "You are wasting my time" before he slammed his office door in our face. Why?
Because a simple mistake his secretary made (you have to bring in your original file, plus two copies, the secretary gave him one of our copies instead of the original, which we just swapped and gave to him within 2 seconds .. a lot of time wasted)
Sigh... these people can be difficult to deal with. We managed to get our file with the signature though, it was thrust and thrown out of the office doorway, before the door was slammed again.
Such lovely people.
Interestingly, the immigration officer, who is the final person you see, and is usually the most strict, was actually the kindest.
He was very friendly and helpful, and was interested in hearing what Agnes and I planned to do with living arrangements, if we would choose Uganda or Australia. He also gave me good information to help me acquire my own visa. So that was a breath of fresh air.
We also managed to get Agnes' passport with out having to bribe anyone (well, we did give someone, who was a friend of ours, a little bit of money who helped us to get one of the signatures .. but we offered it to him to buy him lunch .. does that count?)
So it is done. We have gone through all the trauma we need to. In 3 weeks Agnes should have a passport.
I have had a few moments this week that were touching! which helps balance out the hard stuff.
Right now Farook and I are profiling the new girls for the next tailoring course. Again many of these girls are very poor, and many are ex child brides whose husbands have ran away. Many of them are very dirty and own barely anything.
When we profile a girl, we know that we have chosen them, due to Farook doing background checks on them before hand. So we are just collecting information for their sponsors. But many times the girls don't know this, and you can see the look on their face as they try to answer the questions as carefully as they can.
You can see they are almost on edge, wondering if they will be allowed into the course.
It is always such a good feeling, looking into the eyes of these girls, and telling them that we have accepted them.
It must be a huge thing for them! A young woman who has been sitting at her home struggling for many years, with no opportunity, finally to be given a chance to enter a short course.
It is actually much bigger for them, then we could realize. And it always feels so special to be the bearer of good news.
I think of the previous tailoring girls, and how they were all so scared of me and very intimidated when we first interviewed them. And now they can come up to me and slap me on the back as a joke, before cackling and laughing. Many of the tailoring girls came to my wedding and introduction, and I have really seen them come out of their shells and gain lots of confidence.
Also the fact that teams from Australia have come to visit them, it seems to have boosted their confidence in themselves.
And now I look at these new, quiet and intimidated girls that I am profiling, and I think the same thing. I look at them and say in my head "in a few months time, you are going to change so much, you are going to be so much more confidant in yourself"
Farook and I did have an interesting experience the other day though while profiling girls. We have been trying to get a few girls from the new location we will be moving to. This is partly so we can start making a name for ourselves in this community, and to make friends. Many of the women here are desperate and in need, and the three we managed to get from this area where all ex child brides.
After profiling and talking to them, a local person came and summoned us to go and see the LC1, as he wanted to meet us. The LC1 is basically a local chair person who is at the bottom of the rank. LC2 comes next, followed by the LC3.
LC1's don't have a huge amount of power here, but even so, to pay our respects, Farook and I have been trying to introduce ourselves to this man over the last few weeks. We have tried about five times, but he has never been home.
Well now he was summoning us, so we went to his house only to find him stagger down his steps, with his shirt half undone, and a bottle of Waragi in his hands (the potent local moonshine here). He was very obviously drunk, and he stunk of alcohol.
His immediate attitude to us was hostile, and we could straight away tell he was trying to assert his authority. It was clear he wanted a bribe, as he was clearly drunk.
He started acting as if we were intruders and wanted to know why we had not consulted him. We explained (with a very clear stance that we were not intimidated) that we had tried to pay our respects to him a number of times but he was never around.
We told him who we were, and that we had purchased the nearby land and were planing to build a youth center in the community.
He then wanted to see 'our documents' because we were part of an NGO and we cannot just come into his community uninvited.
He said if you are coming into the community to help you need to present documentation to the LC1, and he then proceeded to show us an irrelevant piece of paper from a few years ago, that had been sent out to all communities in the Jinja district from the government, about water projects.
I took my cues from Farook, who was obviously not buying any of it from this man.
Interestingly the LC1's whole attitude completely changed half way through our conversation. After I got fed up with his drunken breath on me as he tried to assert 'Authority', I told him we were a part of Uganda HopeBuilders, a reputable NGO here, directed by Robert Kafeero, and in good standing with the local police, and government officials. As soon as I said this the man completely switched gears. From here on in, he wanted to be our friend, and said he just wanted to get to know us so he can protect us.
HopeBuilders has a very good reputation here, and especially Robert Kafeero, so just mentioning the names seemed to put the man in his place.
So he let us go with smiles and handshakes. Farook and I were not impressed, as you can not really come out staggering drunk as a local official and try and demand respect.
What is interesting is that the LC1 had actually signed on one of the official forms to show that Robert Kafeero has purchased the nearby land for HopeBuilders.
Not only that, but Farook and Robert Kafeero had actually seen this LC1 a few weeks ago to discuss about the land, and Robert K told the LC1 that Farook and myself are in charge of what is going on down there on the piece of land.
Farook mentioned this to the LC1 and through his drunken haze, he started remembering.
We certainly want to pay our respects to local leaders, and we want to work with the community leaders as much as possible. But it is difficult when you have a drunk who is just after money. Luckily we have made friends with other local elders in the community who helped us find these new girls. It was just the LC1 who was trying to get a drunken bribe.
Anyway .. I was talking about grace at the start of this post hehe
The last few weeks have also been hard as well, in regards to people asking for money. I have had a number of friends in desperate need, including someone with a hernia who needs treatment after his operation, a friends wife sick in hospital with ulcers, a friend whose son fell into a fire, and needs treatment for his boy, someone who was in an accident on the road and has spent lots of money on police to the point that they don't have much food at their home, and then this morning a family I am close to had a nephew die, and they are desperate for transport money to get to the funeral of their beloved one.
Many of these people are close friends, and so of course I feel I have to help them .. but it can take its toll. Agnes and I will be scrapping through this month, due to the amount of people who have needed help from us. Many times after giving money, I tell myself "I am not helping any more people with money this month".
Of course when a pleading friend comes to you, its much harder to actually say that.
I certainly do not have a habit of giving hand outs and money to people here, as I think that it can do more damage then good. But the people approaching me this last month, have been close friends, and so you feel a pressing on your heart to help.
It can be difficult here at times that's for sure. But I do thank God He has given me a great wife, who helps me remain calm and see things from different angles.
I certainly need to keep myself close to God. If you become undisciplined in your own personal devotion time, all the weight baring issues of living here can grind down on you.
It is very helpful to have a God to be able to hand these worries over to! And trust in His provision.
So a difficult week so far! But never a dull moment in Africa.
