Honeymoon

So Aggie and I have just got back from our honeymoon! which was a great time of relaxing and not doing too much.
After the chaos of organizing and completing an African introduction and wedding, we felt about ready for a holiday, and being on the beautiful white beaches of Mombasa was a perfect place to unwind.
We used this time to really just rest, and not feel pressured to do anything.

I was certainly excited to swim in the ocean again! And I was very proud of Agnes, who after seeing the ocean the first time in her life, jumped into the waves and played around like a little child on their first visit to the beach.
Of course she clinged tightly onto my back, due to the huge waves (as she saw them) rolling into the shore (less then 1ft and barely surfable .. I suppose if you have never seen waves before they might seem scary haha)

The hotel was nice as well, and there were plenty of monkeys running around, trying to steal food. We actually had one monkey jump onto our back veranda, and then sneak straight past us into our room through the open door! It smashed around our room until it found the complementary sugar and milk powder, that it obviously was aware of.
I tried to be manly and go and grab it, but it bared its teeth at me, so I grabbed the tv remote and chased it out of the room.
We made sure to watch the open door from then on.

It was interesting how Aggie and I got lots of strange looks from people staying in the hotel. Often when we were asked where we were from you would get asked "what good business is in Uganda".
This was due to everyone being used to white men coming to Kenya to make big money in some sort of business venture and getting themselves an African girlfriend/mistress.
So they usually seemed surprised, and raised an eye, when we would reply that we were married and were not business people, but missionaries.

We did see a lot of old white men with baby faced, teenage looking African girls. Some of the girls barely looking past the age of 17.
Aggie and I really try not to judge, and we always laugh and make up stories saying "Maybe they are missionaries too, and she is his adopted daughter" .. but usually the scantly dressed clothing and suggestive body language says otherwise.
It is sad to see though, and something I have often seen in places around Asia.

We were staying an hour out of Mombasa on the coast, so one day we took a tour through Mombasa. We visited old town, where some of the stone foundations date back as far as 2000 years ago. The place is full of history, and we saw the place where the first missionary to East Africa lived, as well as the place where the bible was translated into Swahili.
Mombasa has always been a melting pot for different cultures, and evidence and memories from so many cultures can be found.
It was also a vital place for the African slave trade, with many thousands of slaves passing through the town before being shipped away to the Arab world for a tragic life of slavery.
It was fascinating to see fort Jesus as well. The fort was constructed by the Portuguese over 400 years ago, to protect their strategic place on the East coast of Africa to help build their empire. Often (especially with the Portuguese) missionary work and colonialism, more or less, went together (though this is not always the case, I have read stories of faithful European missionaries who loved the local people and were opposed to the cruelties of colonialism). The fort had seen many wars and battles in its years as well.
How interesting to know a place of war was named after the prince of peace. I remember reading a book on African Christianity, and how Christianity never really took a hold in Mombasa during these times. The reason being that the Portuguese (with the help of Fort Jesus) had sealed the stamp that Christianity was not a peaceful religion, and went hand in hand in empire building.
It is easy to look back into history and think about how often we have 'got it wrong' and failed to represent Jesus accurately. But we have to be careful not to think that we don't do the same thing today! Does the Christian West still accurately portray Jesus? A good question to ask ourselves sometimes.

Mombasa city itself had a strange feel to it. We really didn't spend much time in it, but from the stories I have heard about the place, and just standing in some areas, you get the feel of a place that is a bit of a spiritual war zone.
I have heard stories of the church being persecuted in Mombasa, as well as other suggestions of 'make sure you play it safe there'.

When we first arrived, our taxi driver from the airport started telling us all these stories about Mombasa that was not really giving Agnes a comforting welcome.
The first thing he did that raised Agnes' eyebrows was point to a rundown ghetto looking apartment building and state that "many Al-shabaab terrorists are hiding in that building".
Al-shabaab is an infamous extremist Muslim terrorist group here in East Africa. They have links with al-qaeda and have been quite notorious over the years for bombings, shootings, kidnappings and executions. They originate in Somalia and are very vicious, often murdering and executing Christians and other moderate Muslims in terrible ways.
They were responsible for a number of attacks on Ugandan soil, so people in Uganda (and most of Africa) are well aware of them.
So Agnes raised an eyebrow or two hearing their name.
Our driver also pointed to a church about 30 minutes from our hotel that was all boarded up and run down. He told us that Al-shabaab had recently stormed the church and shot a bunch of people there, only a few months ago.
We then passed a burnt out building near our hotel, apparently a disco, that had recently been bombed with a grenade by Al-shabaab.
So with all these little stories I was wondering how Agnes was feeling haha.

To top it off when we reached the ferry that takes our car to the south coast of Mombasa, our driver told us another story that had Agnes feeling a bit sick.
Agnes is already scared of water and cannot swim, so she was feeling strange being on a big ferry that crosses a deep water passage, while carrying a bunch of cars on it.
Our driver started to tell us that some years back, one of the ferries was overloaded and sank, killing about 300 people.
Not something you say to the girl who is just visiting, is scared of water, and crossing on the ferry for the first time.

Luckily we didn't drown, or were a part of any terrorist attacks, especially being in our out of the way and safe hotel. But with all these stories, and more that I have heard over the years, it did feel that Mombasa is a battle ground for peoples souls.

I often wonder if living in such a place would only strengthen and enhance your faith! And the lure of building the kingdom in such a place can often be strong for me.
But right now my calling is in Uganda, and I have a wife who is quite happy to leave it like that for some time haha.

So we are back here in Uganda now, after a long day traveling. We feel refreshed and ready to start the real work of marriage life. We already have big moves to make and adjustments with Agnes moving into my home.
Already I can feel the difference of married life, in that everything is a joint decision. The comfort of having Agnes by my side is lovely and I look forward to her partnership .. but we also recognize the hard work we are going to have to put in.

We thank everyone again for all their support and love during this time in our lives.
God bless you all.

Introduction, wedding and honeymoon

Hello all!
I have to apologize that is has taken me almost a month to write up a blog.
The last few weeks have been very full on and busy with sickness, organizing ceremonies, spending time with family, and getting married.
The last time I wrote in my blog I was requesting prayer for Aggie as she was sick with typhoid! Luckily after a day and night in the hospital she was on her way up. She was still a little bit out of it when she met my family for the first time (unfortunately she couldn't come along to the airport because of her sickness)
But we had a great time talking with my family, showing them around, and having them get to know Agnes a bit.

The week leading up to the introduction was very stressful! There were so many things to organize and so much running around to do.

To add onto the stress was all the cultural protocols that had to be followed! Culture can be god here sometimes, and often things that have only originated in the last 10 years or so, are considered cultural norms that cannot be questioned.
Getting married here means that you have to go through an introduction ceremony where gifts are brought to the brides family, and the man is officially accepted into the family.

The problem is that over the years the expectations on what should be put into ceremonies have gone insane.

You cannot expect to get married unless you have money here! It is a bit of an oppressive system, as many poor couples just cohabit with each other, without family approval (and often in shame for not going through the introduction and wedding) because they just cannot afford the crazy prices expected on them.

Luckily for me I have incredible parents who helped support me so we could do everything the proper cultural way, and be fully accepted by the community and have a 'stamp of approval' on our marriage.
Remember individual wants come second to community wants here.
Though we really did manage to do things fairly conservative compared to the crazy ceremonies some people do here!

Aggie and I budgeted very tightly and got away with spending as little money as we could get away with!
Usually friends and community contribute to help people get married here in Uganda, but one of the cultural struggles Aggie and I had (more so Aggie) was that not many people felt like contributing because they assumed (and outright said to Agnes in some cases) that I was white and therefore 'rich' and we didn't need help.
This hurt Aggie a little bit, who has always supported and helped people who were getting married. The truth is there is no way I could afford the introduction and wedding! I really do not have money to spend like this (I am a missionary after all) But this is where my parents, as well as a few faithful friends on both Aggie's and my side, came in to support us. I also have had lots of support from family and church family back at home (which I give my full thanks and appreciation for).

So the introduction went ahead! It was full of color and crazy dancing.
We rocked up at Agnes' family village at 12.30 midday (half an hour late), only to get stuck in the mud and wait in the rain, due to the wet season kicking in a few days before. Luckily it cleared up a bit, and two hours after schedule the ceremony begun.

It starts with my family, friends and myself (basically a small entourage I bring on my side of about 50 people) dancing into the ceremony and taking special seats reserved for us.
Then a few hours of greetings and dancing and different cultural protocols are followed.
Finally Agnes came out looking like a princes in her traditional Ugandan wear. Although I already had a headache from the blaring speakers and all the stress! I have to admit, if you don't mind me going a bit mushy on you for a second (don't worry it won't happen often) my heart did give a jump when I saw her finally for the first time.

After lots more dancing it was time for the aunties to come and find me. Up to this point, the groom is meant to be hiding among his posse, and the aunties go and find him. Everyone pretends they don't know who the groom is, but it is fairly obvious seeing as I am the only young white guy there.
After they picked me and screams of joy were heard across the function, I was then stood up, made to dance in front of everyone, and brought to a special seat of honor. I was then allowed to have my older sister Carlee on one side, and my best man, Farook, on the other, which was nice to have some familiar support.
My two sisters then did a special presentation, where they danced up to Agnes and presented her with gifts, and spoke on my behalf to her.

The rest of the day was filled with more tiring traditional protocols and strange customs, that for the most part, us whiteys had no idea about!
At one point I had to hold a giant roster and give it to Agnes' brother to ask for permission for him to give Agnes over to me (even though Aggie and I were already legally married). Farook as the best man was always by my side, and the person helping me out with everything. Farook had the job of grabbing the rooster for me and handing it over to me, to hand over to Agnes' brother. He just so happened to grab the most powerful looking rooster and there was a moment there, when the rooster started jerking and flapping, that I thought I was going to drop it and embarrass myself (and possibly everyone involved in the function .. that's how things go here).

Luckily everything went smooth and I survived the day. We also had a massive feast before we left in the dark!
It was a very tiring day, and stressful to say the least, but it was great to know the biggest and hardest part of this traditional wedding was over.
That night I collapsed into bed and slept very well.

Some of the crowd awaiting us.

Agnes looking like an African queen,

Carlee and Ashlee (in traditional dresses) pick out Agnes

Feeling a bit nervous

Some of my guests.

Agnes dancing her little heart out.

Handing over the rooster.

The new couple being introduced.

Photo taken of the family before leaving my home.

So that leaves me with the wedding.

The week before the wedding was mixed with joy and sadness. Agnes and I had a lot of beautiful moments spent with the family, as well as Andrew and Rachel who joined us on most things. Agnes started to get more familiar with my family, feeling comfortable in their presence and building the best relationship possible within two weeks.
The sadness comes with the fact that my pa (grandfather on my dads side) passed away in that week. My pa has been suffering from Alzheimer disease for a long time. His situation had deteriorated over the last year a lot, but he took a turn for the worse about a week before my parents came. It was painful to not be there, especially for Beppa (grandmother), and I especially felt for my Dad, as he was torn between the emotions of the death of his father, and the first wedding of one of his children.
Even through the sadness we found peace! We know that my Pa is resting with the Lord. I have a piece of writing that I wrote during this time to go back to family and friends at home. And perhaps in the days to follow I will post this piece of writing of remembrance to my pa on this blog.

Luckily the last few days leading up to the wedding I was able to relax with my family, as most things has been prepared. I also had some great friends supporting me, especially my friend William, who helped drive and do all the shopping with me for the ceremonies. And Ron and Anne who let us borrow their pickup to carry around all the huge amounts of food.

The night before the wedding Aggie and I were able to have a lovely meal at two friends with my family, and Andrew and Rachel (who were also adopted family members during this time haha)
It was so nice to be able to have one final meal with everyone before the big day set in, and the bride and groom would be to busy to sit and talk.

The wedding day started with beautiful weather, which was a real blessing because we had been worried about all the recent rain. I had my groomsmen come to my house as we all got ready. I was feeling nervous, but it was good to have my close friends Farook and Ivan there, as well as my brother Jirawatt, who were all apart of the groomsmen.
The groomsmen and I arrived to the church on time, but in true African fashion Agnes and her maids were an hour late, getting their makeup and hair done at the bridal saloon.

So us men nervously waited in the car. It ended up being ok though, seeing as many prominent family, friends and people didn't come on time and were filing into the church while we were waiting in the car. After an hour past the scheduled time, the women finally came, and us men did our walk down the aisle.
It was such a surreal feeling walking into that church! In true African fashion there was screaming and shouting and cheering and dancing from all our friends and family, as we marched in to the African Gospel choir singing away.

It was beautiful walking down and seeing so many close friends and loved ones from over here in Africa, so happy that I was getting married.

Then the moment we had all been waiting for as the maids and Agnes walked down the aisle. Agnes was walked down the aisle by her two brothers on both side of her, which was really nice. You could see that her brothers were both so proud and happy for Agnes.

The ceremony was really nice, and even though everyone was sweating like pigs in the hot church building, Andrew did a really good job running the show (even though underneath his suit jacket, he was swimming in a wet shirt haha)
Everything went fine, as we exchanged vows, rings and of course a big kiss!
Aggie did almost faint towards the end of the service though. Due to a combination of her not sleeping the night before, not getting enough to eat in the morning, wearing a very heavy dress, being in a hot church building, and recovering from typhoid, she almost collapsed. Luckily friends where fast to get her a seat and some water, as she sat down for the remainder of the service.

After dancing out of the church, and lots of photos with family out the front, we were whisked away to the source of the Nile for our wedding photos!

The reception was also a very colorful one, although it went on for some time. In true African fashion there was so much dancing, and many speeches. Of course it also involved some cultural protocols I was not aware of, and of course had to follow, with much laughing from the audience. In true Ugandan fashion, some politician came to speak who we didn't know. I was told we were so blessed to have a minister (politician) speak at our wedding ... but I really couldn't of cared less. Saying your a politician does not impress me, how you live your life impresses me. And seeing as we had no relationship with this man, I was not overly feeling the blessing (but maybe that was tiredness and the thought of getting out of the already going overtime reception ceremony)

Some highlights of the reception include long dancing gift lines, where people brought huge amounts of gifts to us, the yummy food, having some random guy that nobody knew sing a song in front of everyone while dressed completely as a women, and the Village of Hope children doing a few traditional African dances for us.

It was also a highlight seeing my family get up and dance to Dolly Parton (at least I think it was Dolly, and I am not sure why the DJ played that) and especially seeing my Dad have a dance.

The ceremony finally finished just as it got dark! And after giving our speeches, it was time for Aggie and I to say good bye to everyone.

So another 20 minutes of goodbyes and we were whisked away to begin our honeymoon. It was a sad time to say goodbye to my family, but joyous to be with my new wife. The words of Genesis rang true "A man shall leave his mother and father and hold fast to his wife". Especially as I hugged my parents goodbye, knowing I wont see them again for a long time, and went off to start my marriage with my new wife.

So it was a beautiful wedding, although a long one. It was great to have the support of all my family and friends. I thank everyone who helped and was involved.
God bless you for everything.

And now Aggie and I are relaxing on the beach in Mombasa for our honeymoon! I will write up a separate blog on our honeymoon another time, and just leave you with these wedding photos.

If you would like to see some more pictures, you can check out some pictures my friend Rachael took here.
https://www.facebook.com/rachsilvester/media_set?set=a.10152055493981526.1073741833.660496525&type=1

Prayer request

So just over 5 days till Agnes and I have our traditional Ugandan ceremony.
Most things are in place and my family arrive here tomorrow.

This blog post is mainly just a prayer request. Agnes has been really sick, starting from last Friday. She was falsely diagnosed with malaria but after her sickness got more severe I took her to the good hospital here and it seems she has a strong case of typhoid.
She can barely speak, and she can't walk straight without someone helping her. Typhoid can be very nasty and really knock someone around. The doctor says she will start feeling better in 5 days or so, but our introduction is in 6 days, and we have things to organize soon, as well as spend time with my family who are only in Uganda for 2 weeks.
It is such a shame because Aggie and I were going to pick my family up from the airport tomorrow, but she may have to be admitted into the hospital if she gets worse and the tablets don't work fast enough.
We were really excited about her seeing my family for the first time, but it will just have to wait.

The worry is typhoid can be tricky to treat (it took me 2 months to heal) we don't have 2 months .. but only 6 days before our Ugandan ceremony and 13 days till our wedding.

So prayers for Aggie would be appreciated, during this stressful time, because it is really the worst time to get seriously ill with all our preparations underway.

Thank you to all who send prayers her way.